Laws of Human Nature is something I’m fond of quoting. The book has wisdom that feels intuitive. You can draw from it and apply it to life rather easily, so long as you’re willing to be corrected.
The willingness to be corrected is fundamental to a healthy ego. In Robert Greene’s book, he often points out the flaws of others, but will then immediately turn it against the reader— pointing out how we exhibit the same irrational behaviors to others and conveniently ignore them at our own peril.
Of course, it is not as easy as reading about it and saying “yup, I have no ego anymore.” The kind of feeling our ego elicits when threatened is like a cornered animal. We make excuses or lash back at whoever is accusing us of some fault.
It takes practice. It’s a muscle that needs to be regularly exercised. Mental fortitude is not acquired overnight or from reading about others that had it, it’s actively practiced. You have to be willing to catch yourself in those moments of hostility and take a step back to assess if you’re wrong— it counts for nothing if you’re already calm. Anyone can reassure themselves that they have no ego when there’s no threat.
When we give into that threatened instinct, it embarasses us. We’re thinking that it conveys strength to stand the line and verbally headbutt other people, but all it usually does is put us in compromising social situations. People begin to think we’re disagreeable, hard-headed, and out of control.
But it doesn’t mean that you have to be a yes-man to every suggestion— respectfully disagreeing is a great way to reinforce egoless behavior while doing what is practical and right. It’s conveying authority by killing enemies with kindness. It’s the kind of thing practiced by healthcare workers everyday as they’re approached by unruly patient families, priests and monks, and other gentle souls throughout our chaotic and violent world.
Stand your ground, but be willing to be stand corrected.
Until next time,
Eli
Some people chase really large doses of psychedelics because they wish to have an “ego death” where in one instance it was described as his whole being and personality laid out on the floor in the form of index cards. He picked them up one by one and noticed they were all trends and behaviors that he does and during his trip being emotionally detached from himself he was able to reflect on specific examples he could remember. This allowed him to feel enlightened after the trip and self claimed to be a different person.
This is a common-ish occurrence that some people experience and post online and should be easy to find if you wish to read about similar experiences.
"The willingness to be corrected is fundamental to a healthy ego."
So true and you're right! It takes practice.